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Mood: Agreeably stupefied
Sound: The sound of crickets and her voiceless laughter
Music: "Starcatcher", by A.N. Cee
Quote of the day: "Conform, go crazy or become artist." Oh, someone lift me up cause I think I'ma crazy right now...
Hey! Er...hold on a second...
::takes out the vacuum cleaner and proceeds to rid the blog from all dustballs and cobwebs::
Happy New Year!!! Even if it's three weeks too late. ^^; Gyaa, the end of last year and the beginning of this year were so busy I didn't even realize we were actually in 2004. Someone remind me never to stop blogging for more than 2 weeks--after that, crap piles up and one just cannot muster the courage to relate all that's happened. So here's the Cliff Notes' version of all that's been going on with me lately.
November-Early December in a Nutshell
1. Stopped sleeping.
2. Won the Nanowrimo contest (as evidenced by shiny winner icon below). I know but doesn't it feel good to be part of hallowed hall of fame?
3. Made my directorial debut with not one but two non-english speaking movies.
4. Made incredible breakthroughs in the way of research. Wanna travel but don't have the time or [mostly] the money? Go to Webshots. This site will cater to your inner traveler's need for escape when your wallet cannot.
5. Wielded a samurai sword in an empty parking lot at night. You people have GOT to try this. ::Kill Bill soundtrack playing in background::
6. Got straight As ::cheers:: Looks like all the sleeplessness and hair tearing weren't in vain.
Late December in a Nutshell
1. Got the flu. Yerch.
2. On the other hand, got some stupendously incredible news from Kaoru, Masa and Anne. They've got their FU[BLEEP!!]ING GREEN CARDS!! Can I say how sugoi that is? ::hugs the family::
3. Got a brand new computer from Dad for Xmas. It's got a CD/DVD burner, more space than I've ever dreamt of, TV... I'm most happy.
4. Sang lots of Christmas carols, for some reason. :)
5. Learned that Nolwenn & Brandon are frolicking with mini monkeys, snakes, giant man eating spiders and wild cats somewhere in South America. I should be worried, but somehow I'm not.
6. Made further incredible breakthroughs in the way of research. Dom do do DOM!!
Which brings us to.... Early January in a Nutshell
1. Went to Vegas. Faboolus trip, or as I like to call it, an artist's date on speed. It could have gone very wrong, yet it went surprisingly well. Have now seen O and Zumanity, will die happy if I don't see any other show after this. More details about Vegas in a next entry.
2. Got a year older. My gosh. I'm now 5 years from 30. Where has all my time gone to? At least, I now have a thing or two to show for it. Going back up the hill is a tough and sometimes slow trek, but it's much better than standing still and watching the world go by.--Oh, and thanks to Marsh for wishing me a happy birthday. ^__^ ::hugs::
3. Made a bunch of really nifty sounding resolutions. Am actually planning to follow most of them.
4. Realized that things are indeed much better, because, if I compare where I'm at now to where I was last year, or worse, two years ago, I can say that...
a) I can see who my family and friends are.
b) Looks like I'll be finishing school after all.
c) Block[s]. I fucking blew you out of the water, didn't I?
d) My grey eyed giant had yet to be.
e) Mads was barely alive.
f) Hell, I was barely alive.
Here's hoping that I make this year the best that it can be.
Mood: Inspired
Music: "Mon petit garcon", Yuyu
Random quote of the day: "No, I do not I sound like a drunken lesbian. I may wish to be the latter, but my sapphism will remain exclusively sober." As overheard one cool winter morning in a Prada store somewhere in Lombardy.
I knew I didn't have time for this. I knew it. And still, in the middle of finals, of making not one but two movies as final projects for class... I found just enough time for this. And I won.
50300+ baby.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Go me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yay again for Trin who crossed finishing line way before I did. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
To those who've supported me through this, I love you. Rom & cie... there are no words.
Mood: Floating.
Music: "Victory", Bond.
I now would like to issue a formal apology to Isako, who's suffered great emotional distress because of something I said:
I, Celine, solemnly swear that I will never, ever again mention [BLIP BLIPBLIP BLIP] in front of you, be it online or in person, or within a mile radius of you.
::twitch:: Oh, dear. Looks like somebody's place has officially turned into Leggy Blonde Mating Ground. I swear, you leave these people alone for one minute... Not that I'm complaining, after all, because this is way more entertaining than Discovery Channel.
Besides, blondes may be blondes, but we all know that they ain't nothing but mammals....
Mood: Clinically fascinated
Music: "The Bad Touch", Bloodhound Gang
Happy happy wai wai!!
::huggles Trin and her happy wrappy sweater thingie:: ::huggles tall blonde person (the one with boobs), whom I miss terribly:: ::huggles tall blond person (the one...without), who should know by now that inspiration waits for no woman::
...Or man. Whatever. ::huggles everyone::
Mood: Rejuvenated
Music: "It's raining men", the Geri Halliwell version
Almost quote of the day: "...it's called dirty blonde."
;__;
THESE ARE TEARS OF JOY.
I've been whooping all afternoon long. Why? Well, we went to another temple today and the prof. gave us back our midterms--and I aced mine. But that's not the reason. I was just sitting down, getting ready to listen to the priest tell us about Pureland Buddhism, when in walked --EYES BUGGING OUT OF HEAD--Emilio. I shit you not. If my jaw could have detached itself and dropped on the floor, it would have. He was to be our second speaker, and when I say his speech was inspirational, I sure as hell mean it. He'd been afflicted with a very serious immune disease over ten years ago, had turned to Buddhism to understand the source of his sufferings, and eventually find a way out of them. He apparently has; he's not quite healthy yet, but looking at him you wouldn't imagine that this was a man who'd been this sick.
And boy, did I stare. I took notes too, like the diligent student that I am, but I also drew like mad in the margin of my paper. I made a beeline for him as soon as the presentation was over. He was... holy crap. Not tall, cut like a bodybuilder, jovial face with the chin and the nose... and the EYES. They were there. It was my baby's brother looking back at me, it was him, it was him, from the top of his dark head to his brawny biceps and all that voluminous chest hair ^^;;, and so I told him (well, in a less excited fashion). I also showed him, because this doesn't happen everyday.
You know what else? His father's from Sicily. His mother's Roman. And I'm bloody exulting.
Mood: Undescribable.
Music: "Ride on time", Black Box.
That which hasn't driven me out of my mind, apparently made me stronger. Or something akin to that. And now, onto finishing Chinese oral report. "How did I choose my major?" Good question.
Mood: Vaguely accomplished.
Music: "Purple Haze", Groove Armada (this song rocks on so many levels it's unreal--starting with its title...)
Revelational Quote of the Day: "It is always fear, often disguised but always there, that leads us into grabbing for a block." ~Julia Cameron
I wish I could sit on my ass and whine about the current state of my existence.
But it's a fine day when you suddenly can't find anything remotely annoying about life as it is, aside from the tomorrow's Buddhism midterm and the oral report I've gotta give in Chinese class on wednesday. Oh yeah, and parasites. Sure, they (the tests, not the parasites) should be nerve wracking, if I let them be. But that's tantamount to jinxing yourself over nothing. So no whining for me any time this week, for life as I know it is surprisingly good.
Things that are right where they should be:
I've (nearly) aced all my language tests so far.
I'm not doing bad either with my Buddhism studies.
I've seen Scheherazade and emerged a new woman :) Or rather, a woman with further insights into the psyche of her favorite baby. Heh.
I've made time--not a lot, but enough to see things *happen*.
And things, from where I stand, look good. Still a bit far from me, but approaching steadily.
Trin's on a roll, and things look hella good for her as well.
Nono's on a happy Southern American jungle cruise with her beau.
Kaoru's being a mom in Tokyo.
Mickey's chilling in Beijing.
Bellissimo's being annoying in Paris.
Things that need immediate care:
Isako needs a truckload of hugs. I don't know what's up with her, but I will dispense hugs and kisses and chocolate and happy hentai thoughts as a cure until she begs me to stop.
::sing song voice:: I still don't have enough fucking time. And what's up with going to be after midnight again, hmmm?
Draw, Celine, DRAW!
I need to have more fun. I need to recharge my batteries in places that are neither the mall nor Virgin Megastore.
I need to exercise more.
Topic for term paper. Topic for term paper. Topic for term paper. Topic for term paper.
::plunges nose back into textbook::
Mood: contemplative
Music: the thundering beat of R's big, gentle heart
Card of the
--Attention, Attention, Utterly Nonsensical Bulletin Follows--
As some of you may already know, I have two blonde, blue eyed, tall and rather chatty friends of opposite genders (this point needs to be stressed, although on occasion, people have been hard pressed to discern who was male and who, in fact, was female....). Should they ever decide to nest together and procreate (a merging of genes that I fully endorse, partly because we need more real Blondes in this world, and partly because real Blonde though she is, Paris Hilton does little to elevate the intellectual and moral status of the Blonde species in this society), the resulting offsprings of their blessed union are almost guaranteed to help promote blondeness with an IQ and carry gender confusion over into the next generation. Their existence would thus be highly beneficial to the world, as it would open many, many people's minds, all the while further confounding those folks who haven't yet understood that a vehement "I'm not a fag!!!!!" cry of denial is no proof of triumphant heterosexuality.
This being said..........GO GO GAYDAR JAMMER GO..!!
Mood: Quite sane, actually.
Music: Inspector Gadget's theme. Really. And "Cherry Lips", Garbage.
Sounds: Kids screeching in the background as they play ball.
Quote of the day: "
I've been officially submerged under a pile of homework.
Japanese midterm tomorrow--oral testing and kanji. Written part on thursday--there's a bloody essay to write on top of the grammar. Not to mention the Chinese Hanzi quiz (also for tomorrow) and the Chinese oral report for next week. And oh, how could I forget about the Buddhism midterm (essay format) next week? There's only a few hundred pages or so to read for it.
But you know something? I'm not going to complain. Why? Well, I can think of 2 major reasons.
1) Over a thousand homes have been destroyed in the region. People have died. My house is still safe and standing, and we're all fine. That's reason enough to not to complain.
2) You pour out of my mind like liquid mercury, you're the electricity in my fingers and the bounce in my step. Call it love, call it inspiration, call it magic, call it rapture---next to you, all the minor annoyances and hassles of this life are crushed to dust, my own personal Tricksters rendered obsolete. I'm alive, aware and seeing clearly. Now that's reason enough to start counting my blessings and rejoice.
Music: "You take my breath away", Sarah Brightman; "Sur le Fil", Yann Tiersen [Amélie soundtrack]
Mood: persevering and borderline esoteric
The sky was almost blue this morning. I thought it'd be over by now, but there's not a speck of blue to be seen as I look out the window. It's dirty white again, with that orange-reddish glow, which lends a very unearthly feel to the surroundings.
I guess it's both beautiful and unsettling. The air's hot and dry, as though someone had wrung every single drop of moisture from it. My skin's pulled taut, and when I'm not careful I suddenly find tiny bleeding slashes on the back of my hands. Needless to say I'm quite parched. I'd go for a swim, only the pool's surface is now covered with a thin shroud of ashes, and I'm not so callous yet as to revel in the remains of what might have been other people's homes.
I sit inside and stare.
Trin's Ode of the Month. Or when pop songs strangely begin to fit one's life.
When a female fires back suddenly big talker don't know how to act
So he does what every little boy would do
Makin' up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me, slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controvery
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
Seriously though. You get down an' show 'im girl.
And dis be enough ghetto talk for me.
::points and stares:: Oh HELL, oh HELL. I will never *not* believe in serendipity again. There's this girl in my chinese class who looks almost exactly like my J-chan. Same overall looks, same *eyes*, same air about her. She's nice too. ^_^ Will beg for pictures.
Okay. New rant. A bit unexpected this one. The ending of it might come off as a bit aggressive--but it's not meant to be. Even I have to be blunt every once in a while. At the risk of offending some--oh who cares, it's my blog, not a national publication.
....Have recently been made aware of the fact that I must be the single most boring individual in the world to your average 20something demographic representant. Why?
Exhibit A: I don't have typical 20something year old tastes
- I don't drink, I don't smoke. Hell, I don't even drink coffee. And I've got this thing about eating organic foods. Oh look, I think that was my my social life zipping by.
- I go to bed early. My social life is now officially dead, and this is the last nail in its coffin.
- Give me a hidden corner at your local Barnes & Noble, a sketchbook and a pile of reading material over most parties.
- Cinemas? Sure. I go in there to doodle in the dark during previews. Then, instead of just turning off my brain to simply watch a movie, I start soaking up images and ideas coming from the screen, and store them for future use. Sometimes, I even take notes. That's probably why I get so pissed off when I go to see a movie that I don't like. Feels like I've been robbed of time and ideas, not just money.
- Truth is... I love going out for a night at the opera, or the ballet. That's bloody expensive by the way, especially if the only thing you'll settle for is the best seats of the house row. But I love it all the same.
- I have weird tastes and questionable obsessions, ie, I worship imaginary couples. Gay, straight, bi, ménage à trois, whatever. If they tickle my fancy, I will root for them. Or..hmmm. I love boobs. I don't think I'm a lesbian, but I love boobs. Small, heavy, pear shaped... I will stare. I will occasionally snuggle. I can perfectly relate to men on that point (except you know, those who like silicone inflated balloons. Or think that breasts are like honks and it's okay to squeeze the life out of the poor things in the throes of passion).
- I have several lines of thought. One's fully anchored in reality,
chatters in class, talks to the profs, learns all it can. One's fully aware
of reality, is filtering and recording everything, remembers and cherishes
fond experiences, be it a smell or a sound. Then one constantly goes in and
out of my brain, feels things, sees things and hears voices. That, ladies
and gentlemen, falls into the "loony" category for most people, I think.
- I love living in luxury. And I don't mean expensive things or designer
labels (those can be involved, but they're not all that necessary), but
rather, the feeling of living in luxury. Living in a nice, ordered place.
Knowing how to cook yummy things for myself. Taking time out, even when
horribly busy, to pamper myself.
- I love my family. I still listen to my mom and would you believe I've never (nor will I ever) lie to her about anything that matters (friends, people I go out with, money, etc).
- Okay, sure, anyone can say they love their families. More people
than we think actually love their families. I also love spending time with
my family. Vacation, outings, lounging around at home...That's fine when
you're 12, I guess, a little more unusual when you're twice that age and
not seriously handicapped. It's always better when I'm with them, somehow.
Exhibit B: Then again, I'm just way too contradictory
- I don't like partying or clubbing. Strangers hitting on me make me want to knock their teeth so far down their throats they'll have to start eating out of their asses. ::coughs:: But... Provided I'm with the right company, I do enjoy a good clubbing experience when cool decor and sexual ambiguity of some sort are involved. Dirty dancing? So my thing too.
- I could be eating ramen on the sidewalk and be having a grand old time of it. But hey, I'm perfectly at ease with the amenities of the Venetian's executive suites. So I do have posh tastes. So sue me.
- I'm such a manga lover. Then again, I'm so far removed from fangirldom it's not even funny. My anime obsessions are obscure, I favor scary bushy monobrowed men over bishonen (You! You, keep those tweezers away from meeeee!!!). Go figure. Still, I love myself a good anime convention.
- I love to have deep, meaningful, mind challenging conversations. On the other hand, self appointed Intellectuals (serious ones in particular, because seriousness all too often leads to negativity) fucking annoy me. I like some levity with my life and death talks, thank you very much. I like to run around and goof off and not think to hard as well.
- Superficial South Coast Plaza-ites and their ilk are fucking annoying as well. I cannot stand the whole Prada/Vuitton/Gucci obsession thing. I'm now hiding my Vuitton bags in the closet. And to think that 30 years ago, in France, you looked down on Vuitton bearing individuals because only upstarts bought Louis Vuitton and showed it off. Yet... I love fashion. Fashion is inspirational and exciting. Pretty colors and shapes all around. I could stare at a well cut dress or perfectly crafted pair of heels as though they were fascinating artworks on display in a museum. But why are most fashionable people so goddammned superficial?
- I've been called a square prude by some ill meaning individuals... Well fuck you too. It's funny that I have less hang ups about my body, nudity in general (ooooh, naked people!!!) and disgusting sex jokes than most people who can actually boast about their more extensive sexual experience.
- There's nothing worse than machismo on monkey crack. Faux sensitivity
isn't much better either.
- I like pretty people but...
- Some ugly men can be achingly beautiful.
- Some ugly women can be utterly ravishing.
- I would rather be alone (and most of the time I'm very happy alone) than in so-so company. Acquaintances at school or work are perfectly fine--who knows, you just might also find another potential friend among the unfathomable masses. But pursuing inadequate or even slightly unsatisfactory (talking about "unease" here, not differing tastes or random difficulties) relationships is a waste of time. I don't have time to waste. I barely have enough to spend. Sounds selfish? Maybe. But time is a precious commodity and the only people I'm willing to lavish it on are close family members and friends who have stood the test of time, distance and character. Little else matters.
Besides, there are places where I fit in perfectly. They're just a bit scattered all around the world right now ::group huggle::
Music: "Inner Smile", Texas.
Mood: Light. Er.
Card of the day: They refuse to be read properly today. I think this is my cue to start trusting myself more.
Dear Isa. Another tall, leggy, blonde, ambiguously gendered (even in normal attire--or should I say especially?) individual of my acquaintance is looking forward to taking you out next time he sees you. He, and I quote, is fairly certain the two of you "will be having a smashing time painting the town in red and oh, [he's] been dying to try on his new slip dress." I think he meant for you to rent a tux. Although I'm never quite sure what he means.
Darn you ambiguous people.
First of all, I need to say something--
Mario, thank you.
I know Mario will probably never get to read this--chances are I'll never, ever see the man again, but it's one of those things that I need to remember (I probably will anyway, it's sort of unforgettable like that). To make a long story short, I walked into a center of a popular copy chain store (I know I'm being purposefully vague here, but I don't want to get anybody in trouble--I'm not sure how I could, but I'm not taking any chances). The Object? To enlarge a Very Important Map. The Obstacles? The snotty little guy at the cashier very smugly telling me it'd be $16 a foot, or something obscenely expensive like that.
Bearing in mind that it was a Very Important Map, and that I didn't want to mess up (=make 50 error COLOR copies and yet, have to pay for every single one of them, which wouldn't be any better than $16/foot) or spend hours trying to enlarge my Map, I went to their special order/copy desk. There, this big guy (Mario!) told me that maps are copyrighted material, and that he couldn't copy this one for me because it was against the law. But all I want is to enlarge this thing, hang it on my wall for my own personal ***** research! I said. Apparently moved by my plight, Mario took another cursory glance at the map and out of the blue asked, Sei italiana?--No, sono francesa. But hey, we were getting somewhere at last!
Mario thus took me back to the public copy room, took out a ruler, gave me all sorts of useful copy tips and basically showed me how to enlarge the Map myself. He also lent me his own copy card--this way, I could make mistakes, but those wouldn't be charged on my credit card. Wasn't that awfully nice of him. But wait, that's not all. He then left me to my own devices and I spent the next hour meticulously enlarging my map, page after page. Even with a minimal amount of mistakes, the counter kept on going up. Over $3.00 for an 11x17 copy. GUH. At least it was better than $16.00... I finally hit $50.00 with the last copy. Could not believe I was going to spend this much on 12 sheets of paper. But it was rather necessary.
I went back to see Mario with them, showed him the results, and we discarded the other pages. You know what he did? He took a paper bag, slid my copies in it, refused my credit card, and wished me luck.
Va bella, he said.
I walked out of the store, feeling as though I were treading on clouds. And maybe I was, maybe I'd just met an angel who happened to speak italian, and who just seemed to understand what I was doing. Times like these--- you suddenly realize that maybe, just maybe, the universe is somehow on your side. So grazie, Mario, grazie.
I love this song to death. This song is now Somebody's new theme song:
This is a call to the colorblind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind the horizon line
Tied up in something true
Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry
Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me
credit for
Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return
Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry
Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me
credit for
Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If a flame's what it takes to remember
my name
Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry
Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me
credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now
Should I be thanking John Mayer here as well? ^_^
Incidentally, I'm now back in school full time. And I love it. I've got classes every day, am taking over 10 hours of language per week, but who cares. I love it. I think I love it all the more that I've had to slave through math, science and other untold crap in order to get where I'm at today. True, I've got little time left for anything else. And yet, I've never been so productive before, so keenly aware of what I have to do and where I'm heading. Which is interesting to say since I almost feel like I'm leading a double existence at times. It's a bit like.....creating out of personal experience, I suppose. Or living out your own creation. Or both. Or maybe I'm really becoming schizo. But ooo. The library. The library--all this wealth of information and resources at my fingertips.
I've been sporting a very smug look lately, and I know I should tone it down, lest people mistake me for some evil mastermind intent on taking over the world. Then again, maybe I am, after all.
Music: "La Valse d'Amelie", Yann Tiersen
Sound: The rustling of the wind in the foliage
Smell: Lavender
Card of the Day:
Mood: Panicky
Music: "Manic Monday"
So I've studied and reviewed my brain raw and all I can come up with now are stretches of blank.
Great.
Another fact that has come to my attention: NO!!! I don't want to gooooooooooo!!! ::grabs blindly at anything solid within my reach:: ::thud::<--Sound of pretty person facevaulting as I grab onto a pantleg.
Arrrrrrrrr. ::giggles:: But I have to. It's nerves talking. It must be. Then again, transferring to Langues O looks inexplicably good right about now.
I will be brave. See you on the other side.
Mood: Sober. Not somber. Sober and quietly content.
Music: "Mylord", Edith Piaf. "J'ai pas vingt ans", Alizée.
This is the city I remember from before, I think. Cloudy, a bit drippy and yet, somehow... oddly comforting. Still something like home, even after all these years. I'm glad I came here. Bellissimo, I cannot thank you enough for the sanctuary; I didn't realize how badly I needed this until I landed at CDG. This is a welcome hiatus, this is freedom, this is... normalcy away from normalcy. (Rôôô d'accord, ça va, arrête de te foutre de mes envolées lyriques. J'ai l'âme poétique aujourd'hui...)
And you wouldn't believe how normal my life has been these days. Shopping? Not so much. The Galeries Lafayette are still great, but aside from a couple of CDs and a Milo Manara book, not much in the way of spending cash on clothes. Taking pictures? Yeah, but I don't feel the same compulsion as before. I did get some interesting moody shots, for what it's worth.
But mainly---I've been studying like mad.
I can feel the stares now. I'm in bloody Paris, in a not too shabby hôtel particulier, and I'm doing something as mundane as studying. Well, just because it's Paris doesn't mean we don't have schools here too. As a matter of fact, the universities and lycées in the next arrondissement are constant reminders that I eventualy have to go back myself. The streets are a lot quieter in the early afternoon now, since a lot of kids and teens have gone back to school and the last big herds of tourists have finally departed. There are books and notepads littered all over the sitting room... Somebody even thought it'd be a judicious idea to play a Peking Opera soundtrack in the background, you know, for total cultural immersion. ::looks out the window at the ardoise rooftops lining the horizon:: If I squint hard enough, it'll look *just* like Tian An' Men Square. Oh you, don't frown at me so. The intention is not only appreciated but thoroughly enjoyed. Can't listen to Peking Operas at home; they freak Mom out something terrible, but she's got her reasons. And talking about Beijing... Mickey's gone again, but at least this time we're in contact. ^^
I'd be lying if I said these few weeks have been filled with nothing but incessant reviewing--they've been *mostly* filled with it. The rest of my time is spent lounging about on the Champs Elysées (I know, it's crappy right about now, but everything's there, Virgin, Sephora, Monoprix... it's too drippy to start venturing anywhere else. I haven't been once to Montmartre as it is ;_;), and going out at night, which is a novelty. This is why cars are sometimes useful around here! They enable you to safely participate in the nightlife when the metro gets too skeery. So, we went to the Moulin Rouge yesterday. So mightily cool. Nothing like the sight of pretty unclothed people to distract me from my cares of the day. :) We also went to the Crazy Horse last week, and that rather kicked ass. Been wanting to go there for years now. Then there's my last planned night out at the Opera. Hope I can gain further insight into the parisian corps de ballet... ::rubs hands:: Let it never be said that I'm not a diligent researcher. Now if I could only catch a plane to Italy........................ ::looks inspired::
Shoutouts:
--Isa, I miss you terribly. This is the closest I've come to being near you. Ain't it the spiffiest place? The food's not bad at all either. Aye, good luck with the start of your semester, I'll be following soon.
--Trin, I don't even know where you are right now, but ::hugs:: all the same. Am bringing back wine for your Dad.
--Manzai: Hey!!!!!! How are you? I know we've never had a chance to talk much, but I'll remedy to that one ASAP. Same goes for MB. Hope all is right with you.
--Mickey, I think I've said it all. Miss you. Smack you. ^.^
--Sven. You are the most horrible, obnoxious little snob I've ever had the honor of knowing. How people don't kill you as soon as you open your pretty mouth to speak is beyond me. Mais je t'adore quand même, va. Merci pour les chouquettes ^_^
And that's it for tonight because I'm ready to pass out. I don't know if I'll be able to blog once more before leaving, so ::hugs everybody:: Ooooooooooooh. I almost forgot. Went to see "Les Pirates des Caraibes" the other day. Still all sparkly. *.* The fanart bug is biting again. Will I give in? Whatever shall I do?
Whoopie. Been running all day back and forth across campus. I'm dead tired, but at least one thing's DONE and I no longer have to worry about it. ::summoning her trusty Immediate-Right-At-This-Moment To Do List::
1. Pack.
2.Call Dad. Anybody know what time it is in Bombay when it's 8pm out here? It'd be great if we could all meet up on his way back...
3. Get the last pics from Vegas. Tomorrow.
4. Call Mickey. Don't leave just yet!! (What is up with you people??? Scattering all around the globe with little hope of ever crossing paths... Like I can talk, anyway. ^^;)
5. Call Isa. Again.
6. Check e-mail. ::looks at various full mailboxes:: ::recoils in horror:: Then again maybe not. They'll still be here when I get back anyway. ::sigh:: So glad I got rid of the AOL mail deleting menace though.
7. Pack, still.
8. Call Bellissimo. I need your keys, man. Grazie. (Dis, tu m'achètes des chouquettes STP? ::hugs:: Diiiiiiiis!! Je te ferais des soufflés rien que pour toi, promis juré...)
Optional:
9. Call Trin if time allows (anyone need me to bring back anything? Foie gras, wine, chocolate, tea..?).
10. Fix website before *leaving*. Or at least show sign of intelligent life. If not intelligent, at least sentient.
11. Send package to the . Or maybe I can take it with me and send it to them with a neat postmark thingie next week?
Woo. Where has my summer gone to? Ah, well. At least, I get to have my last vacation before the Mad Rush of Death. Mom, Dad, thank you so so MUCH.
Somewhat Related note: You know what the best travel guides are? The Japanese ones. They're not the most dramatic ones and get a little monotonous at times, but in terms of sheer practicality, nothing beats them. They've got it all, from the biggest department store to the tiniest curio shop hidden away in a Montmartre back alley. Everything's neatly labelled and categorized. I've actually found a short description+pic for La Boutique des Anges in my 2001-02 copy of Chikyuu no Aruki Kata. Their restaurant list is actually more complete than the ones I've found in the DK travel guides. Therefore, I heartily recommend the "Chikyuu no [...]" to anyone planning to go to Paris. You don't even need an extensive knowledge of Japanese (although being able to discern the kanji for the days of the week, months and seasons wouldn't hurt); there's enough quality thumbnails and maps in there to point you in the right direction, and the addresses are all given in roman letters, along with the corresponding metro station.
Unrelated note: After much poring over various manga pages, I've come to the conclusion that Yami no Matsuei (esp. in its later volumes) is shoujou manga's answer to Bastard!!. And for the life of me, I can't find a fault in that.
Completely Unrelated quote: "Shipping. The Other Crack."~~Isako. Indeedy.
Pic of the day:
And yes, dear, I shall get you another picture of your beloved restaurant and post it somewhere.That is, if Heaven, parisian DSL and Sven's scanner allow it.
Well, it's my parents' 26th anniversary and we're celebrating in style. What do I have to show for it? Sample conversation:
Me: "Dad, I'm going to take nice pictures of you guys--"Dad: "That's why I'm wearing these nice clothes--"
Me [blithely]: "Well I figured I wanted to put you two in a bed--"
A beat.
Dad:"You want to take pictures of us going at each other like wild animals?"
Another beat.
Me: *dies*
When will I *ever* learn? Oh well. ::scampers off to Vegas::
Blog images safely relocated. Yes, Trin, I've survived the Great Purge.
Anywaaaay. Time now for a happy long winded rant. So.
I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean last week. ::small nod:: I
went to see it again this saturday. And apparently since that didn't seem
quite enough, I went to see it a third time yesterday. With my sketchbook
and a pencil in hand, trying to determine the proper order of braids, beads
and bandanna crowding the top of Jack Sparrow's head. Yes, that would officially
make me a goner. Things look perilous for me when the fanart bug starts
nipping again, and do I look like I even have time for this?? I can't blame
her because she did try to warn me,
although she failed to mention the part where I'd trip over myself and fall
in love while watching this movie. With 3 people (no, not Barbossa! Not
Norrington either even if he's rather lickable likable).
But... 3 PEOPLE. From a Disney movie, no less. My world view is now hopelessly
askew.
A word about Johnny Depp? Johnny Depp owns this movie, Johnny Depp brings
this movie to life and Disney should grovel before him in abject gratitude.
Let it be a lesson to uncompromising film makers who are too afraid of
treading into the unknown, or whatever it is that constitute their notion
of "unmarketable". When you manage to snag yourself a fine, intelligent
actor willing to completely immerse himself in the part, by Jupiter
and the whole cast of the holy pantheon, you grant him creative freedom.
You sit back, watch him charcoal his eyes and make a legend out of your amusing
but ultimately forgettable outlined character. He's THAT good.
Not even going to try to give an unbiased review of the movie itself--plot
floats without any glaring holes, jolly good swashbuckling. Oh, yeah, bad
teeth. Very bad teeth. Amazing use of CGI, honed to perfection in the last
duel, with pirates morphing back and forth from human to skeletal. So fun.
Felt like watching my first Zorro movie all over again, only with more pretty
people and sexy eyeliner. The verdict? I loved it. The 3 reasons?
1.Jack--Unlikely action hero, unlikely gentleman and more than unlikely
friend. Eerie lurching grace. Irresistible semi lunacy. Turns lasciviousness
into an art. Heart of gold (or should we leave it at gold plated?) lurking
under greed, spazztastic ego and devil may care attitude. Beautiful, ferocious
gaze.
2.Will-- Fumbling with broken candelabra one moment, handling sharp objects
with deadly accuracy. Well on his way to becoming as cold and deadly as
one of his finest blades. Remains the negation of the bad boy to the end,
honest and noble in spite of his humble origins.
3.Elizabeth--The sheltered, well-bred lady who would be Pirate. Fell into
the sea and had a meeting with destiny... Tough as nails tomboy hiding under
all the sophisticated talk and finery. Comes out to play once the girl loses
a few layers of clothes, that damnable corset, and lets her hair down.
Other reason to love PotC? The chemistry DAZZLES. The movie's like an open invitation to the all-you-can-ship-slash-and-pair buffet. Wait, I amend that, maybe not "all". ::shudder:: But I never expected the three leads to mesh so well together. Depp clearly steals the show from beginning to end, but the complementary angles of this little triumvirate reasonably hold their own. It's a treat--and probably all an accident too, due solely to the combination of good character development and inspired acting. Somehow, I can't imagine the execs at Disney sitting around in a conference room, discussing ways to maximize box office revenues via multiple viewings by mad shippers... They should, as it would greatly benefit humanity and make them even richer in the process--but they won't. Oh well. Further reasons--accidental or not-- to be happy:
Will/Elizabeth: For once, I really like the canon couple. The plot isn't working in their favor, but Orlando and Keira make the best out of bread crumbs. For the small amount of time they spend together alone on screen, these two kids manage to ignite a spark. The hand bandaging scene after Will's rescued Elizabeth? Blacksmith's hands indeed! The near kiss, the way his hand reverently runs down the creamy skin of her throat, the way her hand guides his hand... I never thought I'd associate a Disney movie with the word "erotic" one day, but I guess there's a first time for everything. Their relationship carries none of the poutish rebelliousness of adolescent puppy love. She doesn't want to be with him just to spite Daddy; he loves her more than life but is afraid not to be good enough for her. From childish crushes and wishful thinking they move onto the real thing; they're both struggling with themselves, and the tethers of class and propriety. I can only imagine what a strong couple they'll make once they make it to the other side of that mountain.
Jack/Will: ::purr:: Eye candy for your inner slasher, pure and simple.
This isn't so much a matter of scorching UST (although, you know, a really
good ficcer could have angst and shivery tension oozing out of this ship's
every pore while retaining the characters' integrity), as it is one of
sizzling chemistry between these two very different men. Even if slash
isn't your cuppa, you'll have to admit that as brother in arms, these two
are several cuts above your usual action movie buddy pair. The macho posturing
is a complete, self aware parody, and frankly, is there ever was a creature
further removed from machismo, Jack Sparrow would be it. Neither man can
actually best the other, but they work so very well together As for a 'ship
of the more than friends nature... let's just say that with Jack's very convenient
habit of disregarding all notions of personal space, the slashiness sort
of hits you without your even thinking about it. Why maintain proper distance
when you can spare the viewers' minds the pain of going through convoluted
acrobatics in order to imagine *things*? ::stares::
Jack/Elizabeth/Will: My personal favorite. ::looks away innocently::
Never shipped a threesome before, but they make one fine OT3. And who am
I to resist the attraction? If I were reasonable, I'd settle for the movie's
canon, with Will and Elizabeth standing firm in their love and a decidely
content Jack sailing out of Port Royale's waters. He cares...but isn't taken--so
this outcome is the one least likely to hurt anyone. Slash is all good and
yummy, and Jack/Elizabeth looks very tempting, but in both cases I'm always
thinking of the person they're leaving out. Slash stories starting out with
Will leaving Elizabeth because he realizes she's not the one he loves after
all--make me uneasy. This type of scenario negates all that's brought them
closer in the first place, all that's made them a grown up couple, instead
of two children longingly staring at each other in a staircase. Will would
have to be dead for a post movie J/E to work convincingly. In an post island
J/E story, that would depend... the story still would have to provide some
solid reasons as to why Elizabeth suddenly decides to go for Jack (his much
vaunted sexiness does NOT count ^^;). So as far as fanon (ah, but the line
between fanon and canon is so easily blurred here...) shipping is concerned,
OT3 for me it is ::stands proudly:: The trio's wonderful dynamic can
be explored to its full potential, without leaving anybody behind. I get
to enjoy hot manly love, bask in the sweetness that is Will/Elizabeth and
see Jack and Elizabeth make the air sizzle around them.Yowza. Much with the
sparklies.
So the only convincing kind of love story for Jack is, IMHO, one that stems from an existing canon friendship (or a good OC, but as we all know, a good OC romance is the rarest breed of good fic in a fandom such as this one, so I won't hold my breath waiting for it). A friendship is safe, but at the same time challenging: you can implicitly trust a true friend, with not only your life but your freedom (and in Jack's case, the Pearl herself, as She holds a part of him no one can take away); you can be yourself with a friend, as ugly as you really are and as beautiful as you'll ever get. Therefore I can't imagine him in an unequal relationship, i.e., with a person who's subordinate to him. That doesn't mean the person in question should have all of his skills--but brains and the ability to communicate without words, as demonstrated by our dynamic duo at the end of the movie ^^, greatly help. And that someone is not--cannot be-- a follower, because followers do not possess the required "oomph" that prevent them from being eclipsed by Jack's overwhelming ego. That someone, in the end, makes him equate love with freedom, not prison. Anamaria comes close to fitting the bill but something is still lacking from her in order to be his equal (I can see her as a very good friend though), so that really leaves us with either post movie Will or Elizabeth............... or both :)
::stares at long arsed rant:: ::realizes that she is, for all intents and purposes, looking for a rationale behind a ménage à trois:: I am so far gone I'm reaching the ends of the earth.
Err...Right. Here is a small list of fics that will probably make a whole lot more sense than my inane ramblings. While they're not perfect (though a few of them--I'll let you be the judge--do come close), as a collection, they're all generally well written and have few errors, if none. Some of the writers are experienced ficcers, some are not, but these pieces all share two essential qualities: good storytelling, and the ability to tug at heartstrings. They carry the spark, the thrill, the elusive emotional content that make fanfiction so very satisfying and addictive. They're all different too; I've tried to include a bit of everything. Think of this list as the bibliography to a really disorganized essay ^^;
[Dark Places][LV] by Splinter Girl. Jack/Will. A drabble. Or how to wow me with 8 sentences.
[Alternity][ff] by Sarah Winters. One of the few Jack/Elizabeth fics I've found so far that manages to be both dramatic and IC. Why do I like this one? It's got Romantic!Jack and he's still Jack, as in non nauseatingly mushy Jack. And Elizabeth isn't a Mary Sue decoy. That would be good.
[His Holiness, Captain Sparrow][LV] by Beth. Genfic. Pre-movie. A take on how Jack might have impersonated a cleric... Brilliant, solid character study. Funny too, faithful to the movie's atmostphere. This piece is a true standard in excellence. The author captures Jack so vividly, it's the next best thing to watching additional scenes on the upcoming DVD release.
[Whispers][ff] [LJ] by dreamiflame. Will/Elizabeth+friendship with Jack. Can also be read as pre-OT3. It's them against the world. Lovely Elizabeth POV-- the closest reflection of what I think she and Will feel for each other at the end of the movie.
[Busy][ff][LJ] by dreamiflame. Will/Elizabeth/Jack."It would be ever so much easier, you think, if the only two people you loved weren't too busy being in love with each other." A wedding. Drinks all around. Someone realizes he's not being left out. Oh so pretty. And delightfully smirk inducing. I ::heart:: this ficlet.
[Dance in the Moonlight][LJ] by Alex SisterWolf. Will/Elizabeth/Jack. ::thud:: Haunting, gorgeous vignette, both intimate and mysterious. Tis the stuff dreams are made of. ::strains her ears to catch faint accords of a phantom waltz in the background::
[A Taste of Misery][ff] by EstelWolfe. Non ship centric, unless you count Will/Elizabeth as an already established couple. This epic is beautiful. It overlaps many genres, from tragedy to horror, action to....fluff ^^, and it sucks you in from chapter one. I'm usually wary of Jack angst (especially considering the amounts of heart rending angst you're going to find in this one O.O), but it's done skillfully here, so it's the least of my worries. Also a proof that friendship fics rock and can be extremely rewarding in and out of themselves. Warning: you will want to kill the villain dead many, many times over.
[The Old Pirate and the Sea][ff] by Bloodrose the Pyrate. Jack/Black Pearl. Grand and gorgeous. Impossibly tender. There are no words to describe this. Warning: Deathfic.
This isn't a fic per se, but....after the tears, I felt like laughing a little. Or a lot. Because here comes the [Pirate of the Caribbean Handpuppet Theater][LV] Featuring Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Norrington, Anamaria, Cotton's Parrot, Gilette, Mr Gibbs, evil people, random extras and ::drumroll:: MARY SUE!! Oh God, says I. OH GOD.
And here endeth the rant. Whoever's still with me, I shall now leave with a doodle fresh out of the oven and the knowledge that good things do sometimes come in three. [Doodle]
Okay, I'm out.
::staggers off into the dark, dark night:: ::walks straight into the nearest vertical surface::
Ow.
::smashes forehead against wall::
::wordless expression of rage::
There's only one thing worse than doing something painful; it's doing something painful when you don't even know why it has to be done in the first place. I have to delete ALL of my AOL screen names. All but one, the original SN that's gotten me through my early Madhouse years from 1998 to 2001.
Why?
Because apparently, Dad's been billed $1500 through one of his secondary AOL screen names, and not only that, through the AOL's billing system. How the fuck is that even possible??? He doesn't even know what it is, or how it came to be. It's not just credit card fraud either, it looks a lot more complicated than that. I'm not even entirely clear on this situation, but I'm not going to question him now. Immediate To Do list:
1)Save all bookmarks from 5 screen names
2)Sort through all my AOL email
3)Create a new non AOL email addy for univ/work business.
4)Reupload all blog images onto new server and change links in blog template
5)Delete all screen names and keep master screen name.
6)Froth at the mouth for an hour more or so.
ARGH. ::stalks off, casting vengeful glare at AOL icon on desktop::
Okay. Time to indulge in some self plugging.
First of all, I'm not much of a braggart. Really. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm enthusiastic about the stuff I do, because that's the way I'd rather be and without behaving like a compliment fishing whiner, I'm more or less modest. More or less. Emphasis on less. What can I say? I do have a healthy dose of self esteem. But sometimes, like most people, I also get downright insecure. I have doubts about my competences. My art makes me wonder. My writing looks like mindless drivel to me. And let's not even go into the department of my looks and personality.
However, if there is one positive thing about myself that I can now affirm with the utmost certainty, it is this-- I have traveled the world, if not the seven seas then four at the very least, eaten in fine restaurants and enjoyed their food; but nowhere, nowhere have I tasted a chocolate souffle that's nearly as good as mine has become.
And that's not something that just happened overnight. I'm no pastry chef and I definitely have no god given culinary talent. But I've worked long and hard at perfecting my recipe and technique. The first time I tried my hand at one of these things, I ended up with my souffle dropping, not rising. The second time, there was a formation that looked suspiciously like a chocolate omelette at the bottom of my souffle dish.
But tonight? Tonight, Loan and I made the most excellent stuffed tomatoes with their accompanying tomato coulis sauce. There was rice too. Then I treated my family to chocolate souffles... I went with Dad to the Ritz Carlton once, and they made us pay $15 for ONE lousy, overcooked muddy sugar brick they had the gall to dub a "Soufflé au Chocolat". Ha. For less than 3 bucks, I managed to get us 7 (and we're only 5 here) perfectly risen, moist, feather light clouds of chocolatey goodness. Mom made us some whipped cream to top it all off. Life does not get much better than this. I could live in a dump with a portable electrical oven, I'd still eat fancier food than the people at the Ritz' grand dining room. I feel so vindicated. $15? Pftt. O Ritz, I think I shall smite you with contempt.
::rubs full belly:: Hmmm. How deliciously decadent.
I had a dream the other night. The basic premise: a place that looks like our kitchen back in France when I was 6 years old. The protagonists: Trin, Isa and I. Plus somebody else. So what happens?
It starts with our cleaning the dishes, or rather, Trin and I are cleaning dishes. Isa's walking out to gather garden herbs, which makes sense in reality as there was a herb garden right next to that kitchen. Only in the dream, the big windows of the kitchen open onto a village street with the occasional passerby looking in.
So there goes Isa, falala~~, you have to picture this, a tall blonde girl ambling down the small and narrow french coutry street--well, not really. The tall blonde girl is about to do that, but instead runs smack into someone.
A Random Guy.
Sounds ominous, but no, wait. Random Guy and Isa start chatting because she's just like that, trying to make it up to someone she nearly ran over in herb gathering exuberance. But then, amidst all the banter, she says something that Random Guy seems to take as a challenge. A friendly challenge but a challenge nonetheless. Next thing I know, Isa, looking a bit hesitant but determined, takes a step back...and launches herself at Random Guy. Her last ditch attempt at backing out (although it's pretty late for that) comes out of her mouth as a small "But I've got my period..." whimper.
She's got her what??? Yes, I actually heard that, word for word. And it made so much sense then. You also have to realize, I was seeing and hearing all of this in SLO-MO. O.o;
Now before you start snickering and going all symbolic on me, the whole thing was completely INNOCENT. Or as innocent as you can be when jumping on a guy you've just met 5 minutes ago...
Time stops. Random Guy is now carrying Isa as though she didn't weigh more than a water jug, and she's got her legs around his WAIST. Oh, and she's wearing a mini skirt too. A white mini. By that point I'm frantically pulling at Trin's sleeve, telling her "look, look, he CAUGHT her!" And, far from being completely weirded out by that tableau, we both look at the scene with the trained eye of exotic mating ritual experts and bob our heads in approval. Although from where we stand, it looks more like the meeting of two big happy kids realizing they've got more in common than they first imagined. Go figure.
Isa looks stunned, to say the least. Random Guy looks a bit surprised himself, but also rather pleased. He's as smug as a sweet natured guy can get. Gradually my dream eye starts focusing on him, and...hmmm...::whistles::
To tell the truth, he doesn't look stunning or drop dead gorgeous. He's not bad either. He has a sort of longish, passably good looking face without any outstanding features---think Nino from the Amelie Poulain movie. Charming but regular. Until you take a step back and notice 2 things: a)he's got one hell of a pair of legs on him--long, muscular ball player legs. No wonder he didn't budge under her weight (still, that he caught her so easily is remarkable). b)He's a full head taller than Isa. Now anybody who's seen her knows that we're talking seriously TALL. And...I don't know how else to explain it--while he looks like the tall version of your average all-american-early-thirty-something (in a word, "boring"; to be more specific, "not a weirdo"), there's an undeniable sparkle in his eye. One that says "Okay, I look like a pretty calm, down to earth guy, but I'm a little crazy too and I think I've just met the girl of my dreams." And call me a girl still under the influence of dream logic, but any man who manages to look both understanding and unfazed when you suddenly blurt out "But I've got my period..." is anything but ordinary.
Aww. Everybody with me, say it again. Awwwwwww.
Indeedy. I ship even when I sleep. Now that's what I call dedication to a cause.
Of all the things I said I wouldn't do because of [xxx] reasons. *sigh*
So yeah. Version 1. Version 1, eh? Like I'll ever be caught dead trying my hand at another layout. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I'm all harrassed and brain dead. I mean, I felt like committing computicide a few hours ago, but I'm all better now. See? ^__^ All good.
However--can somebody tell me why that black line is there, and why it will show up in one browser and not the other or why it suddenly disappears for no reason whatsoever? Oh well. I'll leave it here for now. Too tired to go back and make changes.
Anyway. Mission 99% accomplished. ^.^..v Blog now up and running.
And while we're at it, it's worth to mention that this blog is the product of much prodding from unnamed parts and my own inability to block strange voices out.
::coughs::
